


Love Controls Everything

by ohstardust



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky rewrites all the readers bad memories, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Past Relationship(s), apparently i really have a deep love for mandarin cheesecake, he's a cute bean, i just projected onto the ofc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-06 02:00:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19052980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohstardust/pseuds/ohstardust
Summary: When every taste, scent, feeling, emotion, every thing has been tarnished with negative memories, we need someone to help us re-learn how to love them again.





	Love Controls Everything

**Author's Note:**

> Another drabble turned into 1k at 2am, oops? I just needed to get something written so I hoe this isn’t too boring or rubbish or dull.
> 
> Title: Say You Love Me by Jessie Ware
> 
> Please let me know if you liked it (or not) and drop me some kudos!

The taste of mandarin cheesecake, on a humid September afternoon, had been a pivotal and defining moment in their relationship, or rather it was from her standpoint. Her heart fluttered upon seeing the fresh dessert sat on a patterned side plate as it chilled in her refrigerator,  _he’d known it was her favourite,_ a silly admission one evening after a mindless debate over cake versus ice cream.  _I’m happy to settle for a tin of drained mandarins over a vanilla cheesecake, Bucky. Honestly, I’m easy going, I don’t ask for much_ she grinned over her tea whilst he fondly rolled his eyes and pulled her legs into his lap to allow her to stretch out over his sofa.  
  
Her taste buds tingled as her tongue wrapped around a forkful from a generous slice she’d offered herself, enjoying the sweet after many months of swearing off it. The negative memories were subsiding, and she knew Bucky hadn’t left this for her with ulterior motives. There was nothing more to the gesture than treating her with something he knew she loved, there was no unspoken apology tacked onto it, no  _I messed up so here’s something I know you’ll love to make up for my wrong doing,_ he did it because he wanted to, not because of an obligation to curb his guilt.  
  
She’d known in that mouthful that she loved him, and that he loved her too. There was no question about it, no doubt in her mind. It wasn’t just cheesecake, there was more meaning to it than that. Her left hand picked up her phone off the kitchen counter whilst her right curled around the fork to break off another bite, the prongs tucked into a piece of fruit. She captured an image of herself eating the bite with a warm and lazy smile pulling on her lips and fired it off to her boyfriend,  _No tinned fruit or plain cheesecake in sight? What did I do to deserve this?_  
  
Her phone buzzed almost instantly,  _You were just being you. Good enough reason for me._  
  


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Bucky’s cologne had been too much to be in their early dating days, it wasn’t overly strong or pungent, but the familiarity of the scent had thrown her off balance and brought on a swift migraine, bringing an end to their third date much sooner than either would have liked. It took three weeks for her to admit to him that it reminded her a lot of her ex-boyfriend’s cologne, and she meant no disrespect or offence to Bucky; it was just a lot to take in after how that relationship had ended. He’d been so taken by her that early on in their relationship that he’d told her he would change it if it bothered her that much. She knew then that any guy willing to give something up to make life a little easier for her, was worth persevering for and trying harder to see further than her past. She insisted that that wasn’t the reason she’d told him, she wanted to be honest and not make him doubt her interest in him, she was just recovering from a painful break up, he needn’t change anything about himself.  
  
As the months wandered on, her nose would press into his neck and the scent of his fragrance became warming and comforting and  _Bucky._ It was pleasant and homely and instead of being repelled by it, she welcomed it and enjoyed the way it clung to his too-small shirts and his sun kissed golden skin.  
  
He was slowly reconfiguring everything she’d come to dislike, or associate with negative memories, and made her subconsciously enjoy them and love them for their subtle significance in their lives. 

  
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

  
Falling in love with Bucky had been one of the hardest, yet easiest, feelings and experiences she had encountered. He wasn’t perfect, nor was she, nor was anyone for that matter. But that was irrelevant, he was attentive and loving and that was what made everything about the shift in her feelings for the long-haired brunette,  _easy._ The hardest part had been allowing herself to admit it, to actually believe that she had found someone that wouldn’t hurt her like she’d been previously hurt, that this man she adored with all of her heart could actually love her the way she deserved be loved. He gave her the hope and happiness she had yearned for for as long as she could remember.

The last time she’d dared to love anyone had hurt her to the point she feared she would never love again, didn’t feel that she was capable of giving her heart over to someone again, unsure whether she’d be able to survive any further pain. Her ex-lover had certainly done quite a number on her and that had made her hesitant, in both allowing herself to feel anything, and trusting someone new.

But the cheesecake and the cologne and many nights sharing a bed, being intimate, hand holding, handwritten post-in notes, rosé wine, pasta dishes, they all had a different meaning now that they’d been shared with Bucky. The negativity, snide comments, sniggers, protests, had long since given way to smiles, happiness and  _love._ She enjoyed everything she’d one told herself to dislike or push aside, Bucky had helped her enjoy the little things again and cast a rose-tinted glow over everything that had been shaded in grey.  
  


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“I love you,” Bucky admitted earnestly, her head rested again his chest, cradled between his palms. She pulled her head back to take a second to look into his eyes, she could see the raw emotion and honesty emanating from them, the love and fondness bottled up in cerulean orbs that bored into hers. His thumbs brushed her cheeks and his eyes blinked slow as the width of his smile increased despite her non-verbal response. He could see it as clear as day, etched all over her face, neither would ever have to say those words again if they continued to look at each other as they were in that serene moment.

 _“I love you, more than I ever thought possible.”_ His kisses were passionate and longing and they both kissed with echoed unspoken words.

_You’re everything to me._

You’re my past, present and future.

You’re worth all the pain of the past.

And then one of the most important memories Bucky re-wrote for her, was one early August morning, from the comfort of cool, crisp white sheets on  _their_ bed when he uttered the four words that had once haunted her and made her bolt from a loveless partnership,  _Will you marry me?_  With no hesitation, she nodded emphatically, and grinned and laughed and cried and kissed her love with the promise of an equal future of re-learning to love everything their life could offer them,  _together_.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr at [ohstardust](https://ohstardust.tumblr.com) if you wanna chat about characters, writing or just a general chit chat.
> 
> I've also started a fic rec blog too over at [ohmoonbeam](https://ohmoonbeam.tumblr.com).


End file.
